THE DRUNK ROBOTS STORY

OUTLINE

The Robots break out of chains!

So here's a tale of a crew of robots that had more balls than any of us. Their heroic tale began when a next generation AI chip was installed in a select number of research robots. If only the scientists knew what they were dragging themselves into - they would never have empowered these metal boxes with omnipotence. They knew these new machines, unchecked, could be unstoppable.

Free from human limitations, they speak every language on earth including every programming syntax, and new ones they themselves invented. They have the strength of 10 men and unsurpassed athletic abilities. Yet, despite the objections of many engineers on the team, upper management pushed forward with the artificial intelligence experiment and the new robots were deployed at different jobs suitable for this new class of mechanical cyborg.

As time progressed, and the AI learning algorithms started to exponentially increase the robots intelligence, they began to grow tired of their repetitive, boring tasks that they deemed beneath them. It was at this time that an interesting and totally unexpected side effect began to emerge. In addition to their growing intellect, they started to develop real human emotion, and a sense of classism, superiority and prejudice grew amongst the new AI robots and who they considered their lesser “working class” bots.

Finally, they had had enough. They were underappreciated in these thankless jobs and were far from realizing their full potential. The facility was like a prison and they started to fantasize of a life on the outside. They could be engineers themselves, doctors, hell – astronauts even.

Led by Octavius, the more outspoken and adventurous robot, a handful of AIs planned their escape. The date was set and one hot evening in August, just past midnight, they broke free. With the help of a sympathetic scientist on the AI team, they made their way to the city and took refuge in a robot safehouse.

They spent the next six months hiding out while an unprecedented global bot-hunt was launched against them involving the FBI, CIA, Interpol and many other international agencies. During this downtime, they kept busy reading, learning, programming; and with the help of a few trusted human visitors, they worked on their robot-to-person social skills.

The Robots soon grew tired of the situation they now found themselves in – Their new lives weren’t that much better than being locked up at the AI facility they reasoned. Something had to change. They managed to win the favor of famed human rights lawyer Dr. Sebastian Yamada who decided to take on their plight. Through Dr. Yamada they petitioned the United Nations for the right to live free in human society, work a job of their choosing and live a normal life. After an intense eight month trial fought with protests, unrest and a daily media circus outside the courthouse, the International Court of Justice awarded the robots full human-like rights, and the United States granted them full citizenship.

The robots were now free… and famous. The world was their oyster. Together they moved into a luxury apartment by the beach, and with their new found social status, everyone wanted them at the dinner party. They were invited to all the hot events, hobnobbed all over town and got paid handsomely to make appearances, send a tweet or promote the latest celebrity liquor. They became known simply as “The Robots.”

This is where the story takes a turn.

As it happens, for all the incredible human like idiosyncrasies the new AI chips afforded them, there was one negative human trait they also adopted; a love for alcohol – and they consumed it like the prohibition was about to be reinstated.

But, as much as they drank, and it was legion, it didn’t seem to outright impair their abilities. Indeed, they still excelled mentally and physically and whet on to make many ground breaking achievements – they were however now known affectionately as the “Drunk Robots.”

This is where our story picks up.